Dallas Jenkins tells BYU crowd how he surrendered to God after failure

PROVO — The year was 2017 and Dallas Jenkins really thought he had made it. A wrestling company, a horror film company and an Illinois church came together to make "The Resurrection of Gavin Stone," a Christian comedy drama.

But then, on Jan. 20, the box-office numbers began rolling in and as Jenkins told it — it was a failure. Speaking to just over 8,000 attendees at Brigham Young University as the forum speaker, Jenkins told "a story rooted in failure." And yet it was ultimately a story rooted in faith.

Jenkins, the creator of the hit show "The Chosen," said the advice he'd give — about learning to surrender to God's will instead of caring about what other people think — is what he wished he had been told when he was in college.

A warm welcome

The Marriott Center was packed as members of the campus community and visitors filled their seats to hear from Jenkins. You could spot the occasional "The Chosen" shirt or hat in the audience.

"You've been coming to my house for 40 years, two by two," joked Jenkins in an implicit reference to Latter-day Saint missionaries (he is an evangelical). "It's about time I come to your house."

Jenkins said he knows college students face a lot of pressure and stress to figure out their lives. He said it wasn't until his 40s he learned how to break free from some of that stress, calling it "an idol that needs to be broken."

He wanted to be taken seriously, Jenkins recalled.

From the time Jenkins made his first feature film ("Midnight Clear") at 25 years old, Jenkins said his goal and passion was legitimacy.

"You see, in my business, you're measured not necessarily by how good you are at your job, but you're measured by how successful you are — how others think you're good or not," said Jenkins.

At the onset of his film career, he worked for a company making movies based on his dad, Jerry Jenkins', books (Jerry is the author of the "Left Behind" series). He made several other independent films and dreamed of a certain kind of success.

"I used to practice Academy Award speeches in front of my mirror," said Jenkins. "I'd like to say that ended when I was a teenager, but it kept going into my 20s." The glitz and glamour of Hollywood awards wasn't all that attracted him. He said he wanted a big platform because he wanted to be a voice for God — but he was really excited by the prospect of finishing at the top of the box office.

After living in Los Angeles for a decade, the Jenkins family moved back to Illinois and worked for a large church in the Chicago area. The church had the kind of resources to make films, but he didn't immediately do that.

A few years later, Jenkins said he had to make a film because that's why he was there. He made a short film for the Christmas Eve service and that's when the wrestling company and the horror film company decided to team up with him and his church to make "The Resurrection of Gavin Stone."

"I had arrived," said Jenkins, explaining he received legitimacy from major Hollywood companies and producers like he'd wanted. Early tests of the movie with random audiences scored high, and Jenkins said he was told he was going to be able to make more movies with these companies.

But just a few hours after the film was released on Jan. 20, 2017, the box office numbers were dismal.

"Within two hours, I went from being a director with a very bright future to being a director with no future," said Jenkins.

The turning point

Watching the numbers come in, Jenkins said he found himself praying and crying with his wife, confused because he doesn't believe God is the author of failure.

"And I failed," he said. For years prior, he had felt called to make movies and felt like his journey with God had led him to that point. He said he thought he might not be meant for making films.

Jenkins said as he sat in his kitchen, his wife, Amanda Jenkins, came in and told him she felt God was telling her that he needed to read the biblical story of Jesus feeding the 5,000. And the voice from God also told her, "I do impossible math."

The couple read the story together, and at that point Jenkins noticed something — Jesus brought the people who were listening to him teach to a place where only he could satisfy them — a miracle through him. At the time, Jenkins thought the lesson was he needed to be desperate for Jesus and then a miracle would happen with the box office numbers.

Well, the box office tallies actually got worse.

To work it all out in his mind, Jenkins stayed up until 4 a.m., toiling over a memo about what went wrong. He was on the last page of it when his acquaintance, Alex, messaged him, "Remember it's not your job to feed the 5,000. It's only to provide the loaves and fish."

Jenkins was confused, to say the least. He and his wife had had a conversation about that parable, but how could someone else hear? Alex told Jenkins he felt like God put it on his heart to say that.

Instead of polishing off the memo, Jenkins said he got a new perspective: "All I cared about was God's will."

The filmmaker no longer cared about whether or not he'd make a movie (not a fun prospect career-wise), he said. And he felt joy he didn't think he'd experience "after the biggest disappointment of your career."

"And that's what a relationship with Christ does: joy regardless of happiness, freedom regardless of opportunity," he told the crowd. Uncertain of what was to come, he picked back up a project he'd put on the shelf when he thought he'd break into Hollywood.

It was a short film he co-wrote about the birth of Jesus through the eyes of the shepherds.

Jenkins returned to the church congregation and asked them if they'd like to do the film, and they said yes. So, he filmed it on his friend's farm located near his house.

"It felt like a significant step down from what I had been doing," he said. "It didn't even feel like five loaves and two fish. It felt like one loaf and half a fish." But after making that short film, it got into the hands of Angel Studios. A crowd fundraising campaign was launched to make a series about the life of Jesus with a focus on the disciples. That campaign was the birth of "The Chosen."

Now, seven years later, Jenkins said "The Chosen" is a very successful show — it's been shown all across the world and has been translated into many languages. The show has received awards, but now he doesn't care.

God still tells him to make loaves and fishes, Jenkins said, but reminds him it's not his job to feed the 5,000. In success or failure, he said we all need to bring what we have to God.

"It's the five and two principle," he said. "You bring what you have, you give it to God and let it go." Whether speaking in front of thousands at conventions or one-on-one with reporters, Jenkins has consistently said for years that for him, it's all about five and two (he even named his newly launched studio after it).

The director's final message to the crowd was to note wait to give themselves to God. It's a superpower that comes from God, he said.

"It is not your job to feed the 5,000. It is only to provide the loaves and fish. I love you and I hope that you can learn that earlier than I did," Jenkins concluded as he received a standing ovation.

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