'We didn't know she was suffering': Community mourns family killed in murder-suicide

WEST HAVEN — Close relatives and neighbors of a family that died in a tragic murder-suicide mourned together and remembered their lives at a vigil Sunday night.

The death of 32-year-old Maribel Ibarra and her three children was ruled a murder-suicide. All four were found dead inside a car in the driveway of their home.

KSL-TV spoke exclusively with Maribel Ibarra's brother, Angel Ibarra, who also lives at the home with his wife, brother, cousin, and father. Ibarra said he and his wife were in California when the incident occurred. He last spoke to his sister through the video doorbell Saturday, and said everything seemed normal.

"Nothing was off at all," Angel Ibarra said. "At first, we didn't want to believe at all what happened. It just felt like a dream."

Angel Ibarra said his 4-year-old nephew, Jordan, 2-year-old niece, Yaitza, and 1-year-old niece, Alitzel, brought joy to their household.

"Every morning you just see those smiles, and they would just tell (his wife), 'I'm going to school!' and, for me, I would give them a little tickles," he said. "For my dad … they're their little companions. They would just follow them, like, you know, this is grandpa."

He said his family didn't see any signs Maribel Ibarra was struggling with mental health issues.

"I wish she would have spoke up," Ibarra said. "I wish she would have told us what she was battling with. She didn't show any signs … obviously, you don't show any signs tell it's too late."

'I don't think any of us can fully process it'

Ibarra said his family has been grieving the loss of his mother, who died from cancer five months ago.

"That was really hard on all of us, going through it for five years of chemo till the end," he said. "We all took care of her. We all loved her. And, we were there until her last breath."

Ibarra said he wishes his sister would've asked for help. He recommends people talk with their family or friends about hardships.

"I do recommend people to speak up, to dial 988," he said. "People need to speak up rather than, I guess, be laughed at for something that's probably that shouldn't be laughed at, at all."

Amanda Smith, one of the Ibarras' neighbors, helped organize Sunday's vigil following funeral services for the mother and her children.

"I don't think any of us can fully process it," Smith said. "We're probably never going to be able to."

'We don't want people to feel alone'

People at the vigil sang a hymn, said prayers in both Spanish and English, and talked about the sorrow that comes after a tragedy like this one.

"September is Suicide Awareness Month ironically, so hopefully it's awareness for everyone because everyone's fighting their own battles and we don't always know what they are, obviously," Smith said.

She and other speakers said they wanted to show this family love and acceptance.

"We don't want people to feel alone," Smith said. "I'm not going to diagnose what happened, I don't know. None of us really do. But what takes place to get a person to this point? And again, there's no judgment because we're not walking in her shoes. We don't know."

Angel Ibarra said his family is close with many of their neighbors. He said they're grateful for the support they've been shown.

"We will find that peace, and we'll still have that support and love from everyone, no matter what," he said.

He said his family has been in touch with the father of the three children who died. Angel Ibarra said the father did not live with them.

"They were very supportive, we're grateful for them, and they're grateful for us also," he said. "Trying to keep everything peace and love and cordial. And I'll just try to keep everything as much, as peaceful as it is."

Ibarra and Smith said they wanted the vigil and the circumstances to bring awareness to mental health problems people may be facing. They said they want people to be reminded they are not alone.

"I just want to tell her that I love her, and I miss her and her kids, too. I'll miss them the most," Angel Ibarra said.

A GoFundMe account* has been set up to raise funds to help the family with funeral expenses and therapy.

It says Maribel Ibarra "was overwhelmed by the hopelessness in which people with depression are immersed, which led her to take actions that we deeply regret. Although incomprehensible, this final act was not the definition of her life. She radiated grace and kindness; she was a bright, happy, and beautiful person as well as a very loving mother. Her friends and family did not know she was struggling and would do anything to turn back time and intervene if they had only seen a sign.

"The grief, trauma, and pain the family is experiencing is unbearable. We as a community can show them love and support and ease some of their burden. ... Rest in peace Maribel, Jordan, Yaitza and Alitzel."

*KSL.com does not assure that the money deposited to the account will be applied for the benefit of the persons named as beneficiaries. If you are considering a deposit to the account, you should consult your own advisers and otherwise proceed at your own risk.

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