Storytelling is the most powerful parenting tool you're not using

SALT LAKE CITY — To every parent wanting to help your kids manage big feelings in a fast, overwhelming world, KSL Parenting Contributor Heather Johnson called out one of the simplest, most powerful tools we have.

She wants every home to implement more storytelling and explained how it helps regulate emotions.

"Storytelling is where we're gonna take an emotional experience… we're gonna give it a beginning, a middle and an end," she said. "We're gonna use that so that we can better understand what we're experiencing, so we can reduce the emotion, learn to manage it and we can connect."

Johnson explained that storytelling changes what part of the brain is doing the work. Instead of being stuck inside big emotions, we gain some distance by telling a story.

"Storytelling takes where we're fight, flight or freeze … and moves everything to a prefrontal cortex where we can reason, and we can language, and we can connect," she explained. "When we can tell stories about it, we've now jumped outside. I can logic and reason through what I went through today."

Johnson said that as soon as we can name the emotions, not only do they come down in intensity, but they don't have as much control over us.

Many parents spend a lot of energy trying to help kids feel less emotional, but Johnson said that's not the point.

"It isn't getting them to not feel it," she emphasized. "It's how do I teach them and help them learn what to do when they do feel those things?"

Emotions are normal. Anxiety, disappointment, frustration and sadness are all part of growing up. Helping children understand and work through feelings is more valuable than trying to get rid of them.

"Our single greatest predictor of success is an ability to manage our emotions," Johnson explained.

Story the moment

Johnson said to use a simple prompt when emotions start to run high.

"You're simply gonna look at them and say, 'Hey, let's start at the beginning,'" she said. "Tell me where this started."

That shifts kids out of pure emotion and into storytelling mode. Instead of being overwhelmed by what they're feeling, they can organize their experience into a narrative. This helps them calm the emotional intensity and make space for understanding.

Use a three-part story prompt

Storytelling is even more powerful after an emotional experience has had time to settle. Johnson said to use the basic framework: beginning, middle and end.

"Let's start at the beginning," she said. "Talk to me about what happened next and when the feelings got big."

That question specifically can help kids identify the emotional turning point in their experience. Then, instead of just asking how the situation ended, Johnson said to ask something more future-focused.

"How do you want it to end next time?"

This helps kids reflect, problem-solve and grow emotionally.

Tell future stories

Johnson said storytelling can help kids prepare for what can happen in the future.

"Tell me how tomorrow's gonna go well at school. Tell me how your math test is gonna go down on Friday," she said.

Verbally walking through a future situation helps kids focus on what they can control rather than what they're worried about.

"It's saying, 'I'm gonna go to school tomorrow. I'm gonna sit down and remind myself I studied for my math test,'" Johnson explained.

Build a family story ritual

The biggest benefits of storytelling come when it is a regular family habit. You don't have to plan it out. You can build it into everyday moments.

"We can make sure that we turn this family storytelling into a ritual," she said. "Every day at dinner you're saying, 'Tell me a story about what happened today.'"

These conversations teach emotional intelligence, resilience and self-awareness.

This story was adapted from a TV broadcast script using artificial intelligence. Every story, including those adapted with AI, is reviewed by a human editor before publication to ensure that KSL's editorial standards are upheld.