Estimated read time: 5-6 minutes
As people gather around tables, TVs, and Christmas trees this holiday season, it's important to remind the older family members that they still have a lot of living to do. And the best gifts to give them might be ideas, plans and incentives to keep their minds busy and bodies moving.
"What is new in the 20 years since I have been in neuropsychology is that we now have a much better handle on what things we can do to improve our likelihood of healthy aging," says Lindsay Embree, PhD, chief of neuropsychology at University of Utah Health. Embree likes to focus her patients and their caregivers on a handful of lifestyle factors.
"I call them the big five — diet, exercise, stress reduction, cognitive stimulation, and sleep," Embree says. "I think our society is starting to understand and grasp that there really isn't a panacea or magic pill we can take that helps everything, but these five variables can most significantly impact healthy aging."
Physical activity and exercise are critical as you age to promote independence and prevent loss of mobility. As recently as 2020, studies showed that exercise may also reverse age-related decline in an area of the brain used for learning, memory, and other cognitive functions.
The bottom line is to encourage the older adults in your life to get moving, but not by suggesting a one-size-fits-all approach to exercise. Embree warns that it's not worth it to set unattainable goals a person can't meet and will quickly abandon.
"I get asked by patients all the time to put together an exercise regimen for healthy aging," Embree says. "Really, the very best exercise regimen for you is one that you can do. It's one that you can enjoy doing and stick to in regular increments."
The simplest approach to cognitive stimulation and stress reduction may also work best when it comes to sharing advice with older family members. It might be as easy as stepping out of your comfort zone to engage in meaningful conversation with others.
"One of the most important cognitive stimulation activities is socializing," Embree says. "So, spending time with other people is just as good and healthy for your brain as learning a foreign language. When you are interacting with other people, it's forcing your brain to think about what you're saying and to pull up information you already know about the subject you're discussing. Isolation prevents cognitive stimulation from happening."
Time seems to move more quickly when the demands on it are at their highest. The holidays are no exception, so it's easy to understand why the challenges of daily life can cause us to put off the difficult discussions that need to happen when aging family members are involved.
"A lot of people are hesitant to talk about aging, death, and the development of something like dementia," Embree says. "By completely ignoring it and not talking about it, what ends up happening is that nobody has discussed anything until suddenly somebody is in crisis."
These talks get even trickier when the subject is dementia. But, with nearly 7 million Americans living with some form of the disease, it's hard to avoid the topic.
"The longer we live, the more likely we are to develop something like dementia," Embree says. "Dementia and specifically Alzheimer's is a disease of aging. We can talk about some of the risk factors and ways to reduce them, but the biggest risk factor is age."
Melissa Mauchley, LCSW, is a licensed social worker at University of Utah Health. She routinely deals with the sensitive topic of dementia and memory loss from the caregiver's perspective. It starts with recognition of changes.
"We know that not everyone goes to the doctor about memory issues," Mauchley says. "The patient may not recognize changes, or they may not want to talk about them. But if you're a caregiver or family member and you notice changes, try to see the doctor about it."
A doctor's perspective will lead to much better long-term outcomes, Mauchley says. "Connect to resources early, including support for yourself and for your person. You will greatly impact the way everyone experiences dementia."
Issues of dementia care and counseling for a family member can cause stress and anxiety. Decisions have to be made about the assistance a person needs and whether a patient can still live in their home or must move in with family or into a more supportive senior residence. It's an overwhelming and exhausting experience for caregivers.
"Feelings of guilt are continuously being faced by caregivers," Mauchley says. "Guilt can come from questioning if they're doing enough and in the right way, getting frustrated with their family member, worrying that they may be causing decline, or comparing themselves to others—all while struggling with feelings of grief and the emotional and physical demands from caregiving."
The aging journey is part of a transformative and often challenging time in life that involves closing chapters and embracing new experiences. Mauchley encourages her caregivers and their families to invest in the power of reminiscing.
"Power is there for the listener and the person who is sharing," Mauchley says. "Sharing purposeful moments and learning experiences with others can promote connection and positivity for both the person sharing and the person listening."
As the generations come together to celebrate another holiday, family members can offer the gift of an empathetic ear to help those who might be retiring, experiencing loss, or facing health issues to recalibrate. The strong pathways these older adults created while working and raising children have diverted them in a different direction as they've aged.
"A lot of folks will not take the time to step back and say, 'How can I recreate myself?'" Embree says.
One caregiver recently shared some wisdom on this topic with Mauchley. He said the key to healthy aging can be found in three words: "recognize, accept, and adapt." She adds that, "In any life transition, recognizing that you're in it, accepting that you're in it, and then deciding how to adapt can make all the difference."
