Utah's best and worst puns, jokes and dad humor

Utah has a reputation for many things: dramatic landscapes, unpredictable weather and a collective sense of humor that somehow balances earnest wholesomeness with sharp self-awareness.

Of course, comedy is subjective. What makes one person laugh out loud might earn another a polite smile and a quick scroll past. Many of these jokes come from message boards, memes or reader submissions over the years. Some are clever. Some are groan-worthy. A few fall squarely into "so bad they're good" territory.

So which ones hit home for you? Here's a roundup of some of the best — and worst — Utah jokes and puns floating around the internet.

The best Utah jokes

Me: Utah, you cannot have all four seasons in one day.

Utah: Hold my fry sauce…

What's the capital of Washington County?

Answer: W.

Did you hear about that new musical in Utah?

It's called "Seven Brides for One Brother."

Why did the Great Salt Lake break up with the mountains?

It needed space to reflect.

Utah drivers will go 90 mph on the freeway and then stop for five minutes at a four-way stop just to be polite.

Utah: Where "just a short hike" means three miles straight up.

Want to hear a good joke?

The Utah Jazz.

The worst Utah puns

A good pun can make you laugh for days. And these from jettlaggedroamer.com are not good puns.

• This state is be-Utah-ful.
• Utah rocks!
• I don't have to Provo my love for Utah to you!
• I don't say this Ogden, but Utah is the best.
• Are Utah-lking to me?
• Arches you glad you're in Utah?
• Canyon-believe these lands?
• Utah's beauty is rock solid.
• Utah's great if Uinta mountains.
• I checked out some mountains in Utah. It was lava at the first site.
• The way I speak, U-tah think there's no better place on earth.
• If Utah-lk the talk, you better walk the walk.
• Wasatch your back in the mountains!
• I want to take U-tah all the beautiful places.
• Have I told you that U-tah best?
• Hoodoo you think you are?

Rivalry humor

The BYU-Utah football rivalry has inspired decades of jokes, jabs and good-natured trash talk. These reader-submitted jokes were shared with Deseret News years ago and still circulate today.

Q: What's the difference between the Utes and a dollar bill?

A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.

Entering a store, a man said, "I would like a white hat, blue pants, a white shirt and blue shoes."

The clerk asked, "Are you a BYU fan?"

"I sure am," the man replied.

"How did you know?"

"Not the colors," the clerk said. "This is a hardware store."

How many Utah freshmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It's a sophomore course.

Q: How do you get a BYU grad off your porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

The best dad jokes

Utah arguably has a deeper appreciation for corny humor than most, so no joke roundup would be complete without a healthy dose of dad jokes.

These come from a 2023 Deseret News article:

• I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
• I love telling Dad jokes, he even laughs sometimes.
• I have a joke about cheddar, but it's too cheesy.
• It takes guts to be an organ donor.
• What lies on the sea shore and has anxiety? A nervous wreck.
• Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? It lost its filling.
• What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet you at the corner.
• What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
• Why did the scarecrow get an award? Because he was out standing in his field.
• Here are some more classics from a 2019 KSL.com article:
• "Dad, I'm hungry" "Nice to meet you hungry, I'm dad!"
• What did the horse say after it tripped? "Help, I've fallen and I can't giddy-up."
• "Dad, I'm going to take a bath." "I think the tub is too heavy for you to take."
• I don't trust stairs, they're always up to something.
• What did the buffalo say when his son left for school? Bison!
• What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.
• How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles
• A guy walks into a bar, the bartender asks "are you OK?"
• Two satellites got married — the ceremony wasn't much but the reception was great.
• What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.
• What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener
• My new thesaurus is terrible. Not only that, but it is also terrible.
• What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware? "Get in the boat."
• Why can't you have a nose that is 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
• What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
• I got fired at my job at the bank today. Someone asked me to check their balance so I pushed them over.
• My grandfather has the heart of a lion. He also has a lifetime ban from the buffalo zoo.
• What's Forrest Gump's password? 1Forest1
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
• Do you know anyone who can jump higher than a house? Anyone can, houses can't jump.
• I'm not calling her a gold digger, but she did move to California in 1849.
• People say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
• Why are skeletons so calm? They don't let anything get under their skin.
• What happens when a frog parks illegally? It gets toad.

Fun fact: According to Fatherly, the most popular dad joke in Utah is, "What's the plan, Stan?" If you count that as a joke, that is.

Keep the jokes coming

At the end of the day, Utah humor mirrors the place itself — a mix of clever, corny and witty. Whether you laughed, groaned or shook your head, there's one thing most Utahns can agree on: life here is better when you don't take it too seriously.

Foods you only eat if you grew up in Utah

Whether served at family reunions, church potlucks, or small-town diners, these dishes hold a special place on the tables and in the memories of people who grew up in the Beehive State. From fry sauce to funeral potatoes, here are some of the foods that define growing up in Utah.

Siegfried & Jensen

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