Utah County to 'expand the healing' for domestic violence survivors with new safehaven

OREM — Lyndsey Hackford was emotional Thursday morning as she thought about what would become a safe haven for women like her.

"When I look at this ground, I don't just see the future site of a shelter. I see the women who will sleep here safely. The children who will wake up here without wondering what kind of night they're going to have. And the advocate sitting beside someone who feels completely alone, and reminding her that she isn't," Hackford said.

During the final year she was still with her abuser, her life was filled with uncertainty, fear, chaos and "absolutely no space" to make a plan on how to safely leave with her children.

"Leaving isn't one decision. It's a hundred decisions that we have to make when we're terrified, exhausted, trying to protect our children, trying to think clearly after months or years of being taught not to trust ourselves," she said. "When your sense of safety has been shattered in the one place that's supposed to be — your home — nowhere feels safe."

She ended up finding help at The Refuge Utah, a domestic violence shelter and rape crisis center that provides women and children in need with temporary housing, food and resources to help them heal and begin a new future.

"A shelter isn't just a bed. It's a place to breathe long enough to begin believing that maybe you can build your life beyond surviving. I know what it feels like to need this place. The Refuge became that place for me," she said.

Years later, Hackford is a member of the organization's board of trustees.

"Eventually, the woman who needed shelter became a woman that sits on their board. I don't think that will ever be lost on me," she said.

'More than just a building'

Hackford was one of several speakers at a celebratory groundbreaking in Orem at 866 N. 400 West for The Refuge's 34,000-square-foot Utah County campus. The new shelter will expand emergency capacity from 25 to 138 beds.

Ashlee Taylor, executive director at The Refuge, said the new campus will allow them to expand their services and "expand the healing" it provides to women in need.

"It's more than just a building. It's a place of refuge and a place of hope and healing for survivors," Taylor said.

While there is still a lot of work to do, Taylor asked everyone to join them in creating a refuge for those in need. She said it was especially meaningful to break ground on Thursday, as Oct. 1 marks the beginning of domestic violence awareness month.

"Awareness only matters if there's action behind it. Today we are taking that action to show survivors they are not alone," Taylor said. The walls we will build here will provide safety. But the community that we will build around survivors will provide them with hope."

Before retiring, Orem Mayor Karen McCandless worked with Community Action Services. She saw firsthand what it takes to help people in crisis transition into stability. While food and shelter provide immediate needs, true healing requires a dedicated space where safety is guaranteed, she said.

"This new facility isn't just bricks and mortar. It's a foundation for rebuilding lives," she said. "Today sends a clear message to domestic violence survivors: Orem is a safe place and we stand here ready to wrap our arms around you as you navigate your journey forward."

Rep. Tyler Clancy, Utah's state homeless coordinator, first learned of The Refuge when he was a brand-new police officer in Provo. He encountered an individual who was fleeing an abusive situation, so Clancy called The Refuge hotline. At first, he was told they were full, but the advocates then said to bring the person anyway, and they would figure it out.

"We're not just talking about a place or the sorely needed beds, but we're talking about people," Clancy said. "These community leaders who are with us today are staking out their position quite clearly — that we have your back. The statement we can make as a community is that we support survivors."

An expansion to save more lives

Mary Crafts, a longtime advocate and chair for the capital campaign committee, said that last year, 740 women and children had to be turned away from The Refuge because they didn't have space.

"They went back to an abuser ... and continued on the trek of domestic violence," Crafts said. "I'm hoping that this ground, this place, this building, this community will create an end to that system that has allowed people to stay victims."

Thursday marked the groundbreaking for the first phase of the campus, which includes the emergency shelter.

Phase two will include a 12,000-square-foot advocacy and services center that provides therapy, education, and other support in a trauma-informed design with enhanced security and privacy features to protect survivors' dignity and confidentiality. The final phase of expansion will provide transitional housing units for families.

Although the organization has raised more than $13 million to fund it, Crafts said the goal is $35 million so they can fully equip the campus with every tool needed to help women break out of domestic violence.

"This land was saved sacred for this ... Every single person that walks upon this ground will feel the nature of our desire to help and lift," Crafts said.

Hackford said she is standing here today as proof of what can happen when women are given the resources to leave and heal.

"Someday a woman is going to walk through these doors on the worst day of her life ... but because this place exists, someone will be able to look at her and say 'You have somewhere to go.' That matters more than I can possibly put into words," she said.

The Refuge Utah represents new beginnings for women and families and while Hackford said she will never know all of the names of the people who end up there, she knows what it feels like to be one of them.

"We aren't simply breaking ground. We are making room for safety, room for healing, room for choice and room for someone to begin again," Hackford said.

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