5 ways to ease your child's back-to-school worries and help them feel confident

SALT LAKE CITY — For many kids, back-to-school is exciting. For others, they worry. Will I make friends? Will my teacher like me? What if I don't know the answers? We can't make all those worries disappear, but we can help children feel prepared, supported and confident that they can handle whatever comes their way.

Licesnsed Clinical Social Worker Ginger Healy shared common mistakes parents make and how to ease kids' concerns. When they come to you with worries and anxieties, you might immediately try to make those feelings go away by saying things like, "You're fine," "Don't worry about it," or, "It's not a big deal."

"That actually invalidates the feelings and takes control away from them," she explained. "They need to be heard and understood. That's actually what settles the nervous system."

Validate Before You Reassure

Instead of jumping straight into problem-solving mode, validate your kids' feelings and make sure they know their emotions make sense. Validation doesn't mean agreeing that something bad will happen. It means acknowledging that the feelings they're experiencing are real. When kids feel understood, they're more open to hearing the reassurance and support you want to give them.

Focus on What They Can Control

Anxiety gets worse when you focus on unknowns. Healy said to shift kids' focus toward things they can actually control.

"What do you want to pack in your lunch?" Healy suggested asking. "What can you prep the night before?"

She also said to help children think through their support systems.

"When you get to school, who can you ask for help if you need it?" she said. "Those little small plans and preparation really will settle those worries down a lot."

Practice the Routine Before the First Day

Getting your kids familiar with new back-to-school routines can help them feel less worried. She recommended driving to school and walking through the classroom before the first day comes. Even practicing parts of your morning routine can make a difference.

"Anything that feels familiar will lessen that threat of 'what if,'" Healy emphasized.

Once they have already experienced parts of the process, the first day feels less overwhelming.

Stay Calm Yourself

You might not realize how much influence your own emotions have on your kids. Healy said emotions are contagious, and children pay close attention to how the adults around them are reacting. If you are really anxious, your kids will absorb that energy.

"They're going to lean on and borrow our nervous system state," she explained.

This is why repeatedly asking nervous questions can actually increase your child's anxiety. If we're constantly asking, "Are you okay," kids can interpret that as confirmation that something is wrong. But emotional influence works both ways.

"If we can exude this calm confidence, well, that's contagious, too," Healy said.

Parents aren't perfect. We're all human and make mistakes, and Healy said to give yourself some grace. Even if your response isn't perfect, you can still repair and try again. In doing so, you model resilience and problem-solving.

"That's an opportunity to say, 'Oh, I blew it. Let's try again,'" Healy explained.

Keep Goodbyes Short and Predictable

The first-day drop-off can be pretty emotional for both parents and kids. Healy said to resist the urge to turn it into a big, long goodbye.

"If you have these long, emotional, drawn-out goodbyes, that will actually make it worse," she explained. "I do want you to develop a short and predictable routine."

It might be a hug, a secret handshake or just a fun phrase you say each day when you drop them off. The predictability comforts and reassures kids. Healy shared an example from a parent.

"She pulls up to the school and will say, 'Tuck and roll,'" Healy said. The kids respond, "'Gotta go.'" "They know every day that's what they're gonna do."

The routine is lighthearted, familiar and consistent.

Find more advice from Ginger Healy on Instagram, @gingerhealy.

This story was adapted from a TV broadcast script using artificial intelligence. Every story, including those adapted with AI, is reviewed by a human editor before publication to ensure that KSL's editorial standards are upheld.