82-year-old southern Utah man combats depression with breakfast club

ST. GEORGE — Marv Thiem didn't often experience depression, but it hit about the time he turned 80.

"I was sitting around, starting to feel a little depressed," Thiem told KSL. "That's not me. I'm normally not that way at all. I thought, 'What's going on? Why am I feeling this way? I'm 82 years of age.' After doing some soul searching, I came to the conclusion that it's because I had nothing to look forward to.

"I've purchased everything that I need. I can't do skiing, golfing or any of those things anymore, and I just didn't have something to look forward to."

Thiem said that he started to wonder if he was the only one his age who felt that way, and he thought, "What can I do?" He decided to start an 80-plus breakfast club for men. And for the past six months, he's been holding the monthly gathering.

He said the group has been well-attended, adding that he's had a difficult time spreading the word.

"My problem is, I put it on Facebook, but how many men over the age of 80 go on social media?" Thiem asked. "So I made a flier, and I tried to get the flier out to some senior centers. We'll see if my efforts pay off."

Like many his age in southern Utah, Thiem moved to the warmer climate to escape the cold. He originally made the hop from Michigan to Colorado with his wife several years ago to experience the mountains. Not long after, the cold Colorado wind blew the two all the way to Leeds, which is a little bit north of St. George.

Also, like many his age, he has experienced things that only his generation understands.

"I want to be able to make new friends, have good camaraderie and reminisce about the old things – you know, the old cars and before the internet and everything," he said. "The people who do come seem to truly enjoy it."

Bob Mariner, 82, of Hurricane, answered KSL's phone call just as he was about to read his newspaper on his front patio. He said that he has joined the breakfast club a couple of times and recalled it being a "good time." He also laughed when he remembered a story one of the men told.

"I remember one of the guys talked about being in a submarine when he was in the (military) service, and he went months without a shower," Mariner said, laughing.

Mariner also chuckled at a fall he had in the parking lot on the way to breakfast.

"I fell in the parking lot and got my face all black and blue," he said. "I forgot my walker. It happens."

Chuck Major, 84, said that he joined the group to make new friends following the death of his wife of 61 years. Major said that the last 20 years of his marriage, he had been his wife's primary caregiver due to chronic illness.

"I lost my wife about a year ago," Major said. "Marv started that club, and I thought it was a good thing for me to get out in the mix and meet other people. It has been helpful to get out of the house and talk to other people and hear their stories.

"I was kind of surprised that the last gathering I went to, I bumped into a guy who lived in the same neighborhood with me before I moved from Hurricane to Washington. We were both retired truck drivers, so we had a lot in common."

Thiem said one of the things he likes most about the 80-plus breakfast club for men is that they all have differences. He also said that there are a couple of rules and one personal warning.

"We've got truck drivers. We've got plumbers. We've got CPAs," Thiem said. "It's a very diverse group. We don't permit cussing. We don't talk politics, and we don't talk religion.

"I've also developed this tremor in my right hand. I joke about it and tell the guys that if I start throwing food all over, they'll know why."

The southern Utah-based 80-plus breakfast club for men is held every third Wednesday. Thiem said that those interested can call 435-767-0401.

"I'd love to grow the group to at least 10 or 15," Thiem said. "That would make me really, really pleased that I've accomplished something and that I'm helping these guys. This is in its infancy, and I just have to get the word out."

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