Family members often plead with treatment counselors: “What is the best thing I can do to help my addicted loved one?”

While family members might not be personally recovering from a substance or behavioral addiction, they need to learn to recover from destructive codependent feelings, attitudes and shaming behaviors. They also need to learn how to become a healthier, more effective support person for their addicted loved one.

Free weekly family group meetings

Renaissance Ranch, offers three free weekly family group meetings open to the public. Locations are Sandy, Orem and Farmington. Click the headline link in this box to learn more.

Here are six actions family members can take to help an addicted loved one overcome addiction and to increase the likelihood of maintaining long-term sobriety:

Understand the disease aspect of addiction

The American Society of Addiction Medicine adopted a new definition of addiction based on four years of concentrated study by 80 experts: addiction is a “chronic brain disease, not just bad behaviors or bad choices.”

Replace judgment with charity and advocacy

Once family members understand a loved one is suffering from a mid-brain disease and is in desperate need of effective help, family members hearts are then melded towards compassion. They are motivated to become an advocate to help their addicted loved one find recovery and treatment if necessary.

Understand rock bottom is a myth

Because addiction is like any other disease, the sooner it is diagnosed and addressed the sooner healing can begin! According to research published in the Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment, family member support is paramount to encouraging an addicted love to seek treatment, comply with treatment guidelines, and even maintain long-term gains after treatment.

The study author witnessed for years how those who leave treatment early almost always are those who have had little or no perceived family support. Those who have support are much more likely to stay in treatment and flourish throughout the treatment process. The family member who is showing up to learn their role in recovery is healing as well and changing negative interactional patterns, which reinforce long-term sobriety and healthier human connection. Exactly what most families seek.

Recognize how the family member contributes to the addiction cycle

Support persons, often unknowingly, resort to negative patterns of codependent rescuing, persecuting or suffering behaviors. Engaging in recovery as a family member is critical to learning how to transform harmful and debilitating interactions to more productive patterns of relating which help increase hope and a sense of working together to combat addiction.

Family members need to learn the fine line between what is hurtful and what is helpful and discover how to implement loving and firm boundaries to ensure stronger, respectful relationships.

Learn how shame is the core center of addiction and how to eradicate it

Family members learn to communicate appropriately without triggering emotional pain which can often lead to cravings. Cravings are a symptom of the mid-brain disease of addiction.

Family members also work the same 12 steps of recovery as their addicted family member to learn how to recover from their own persecuting thoughts and behaviors, character defects, and how to discover hope and happiness for themselves through choosing healing over hurting.

Family members show up to meetings to learn from others

Community resources such as 12-step recovery meetings and Alcoholics Anonymous meetings are very helpful to learn from others. One local treatment center, Renaissance Ranch, offers three free public family group meetings along the Wasatch Front (Farmington, Orem, and Sandy) which have been highly effective.

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