THE YARD — What I know about training to be a police officer is directly related to my viewing of the 1984 comedy classic, "Police Academy."
The training is supposed to be full of hijinks, gun obsession, rule breaking, sound effects and rude humor, right? According to this video, I am wrong (and sort of right.)
In the video, cadets at the Indiana University Police Academy face a special composure test. Of course, it wouldn’t do to simulate focus training in stressful situations. No. Instead the cadets must keep a serious demeanor when they are faced with the horror of (wait for it) a squeaky rubber chicken.
As you shall see, for some it is nearly impossible to keep a straight face, and it’s easy to spot the cadets who will break. Those who will pass the test have stoney faces from the get go, and those who fail start having face twitches almost immediately.
In fact, one sorry fellow doesn’t even get to hear one squeak from the chicken before a smile spreads over his face and he has to fall into a plank like all the others who failed the ridiculous test.
Yes, it’s a bit dumb, but still entertaining — at least it’s entertaining for the training officers and us, the viewers. In fact, I would bet a hefty sum that the the officer with the squeaky chicken is a dad who often spouts dad jokes. His smirk of enjoyment is just too "dad thinks he’s super funny and he probably is because dad jokes are funny no matter what you say."
As you may have guessed, I would never pass the squeaky chicken test. But that doesn’t matter because I’d never pass any sort of physical test either.
Stay strong and stay safe out there, officers and officers in training. I hope you never have to face the classic humor of a squeaky chicken when you’re afield.